We all know how delicious it is to be naughty. Now we can offer the ultimate 'naughty massage night'. An intense, exciting package of ultimate indulgences, in all the things you really shouldn't - 5 hours.
A Man Is Searching for an Escort to Meet His Needs
And he comes across an ad that says the provider offers very freaky sessions. Since this is something he's into, he books an appointment and goes to meet her. She answers the door to greet him and they take care of formalities. She excuses herself to "slip into something more comfortable" and comes back a few minutes later carrying handcuffs and wearing a latex body suit, mask and massive strap-on. At this point, the man is getting up to leave. She says, "What's the matter, I thought you liked it freaky?" The man replies, "I do, but I already shit in your purse and fucked your dog so I'm done."
His wife, puzzled, looked at him and said,
"That's not a cow, that's a sheep..."
He gripped the animal closer while turning back to the door and yelled,
"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!"
A trucker is outside of a diner, working on his truck. It's freezing outside so he goes in to warm himself up before going back out to finish the job. A sexy waitress gets his attention and asks,
"Would you like to warm those hands up between my thighs?"
Hesitant, he shook his head yes and smiled.
"Thank you, m'am. I think they're good and warm now."
He went back out and not a few minutes later, his hands were cold again so he went back inside.
"Can I warm my hands up between your thighs again?"
"Come on!" She said, annoyed, "Does your nose ever get cold??".
A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds. One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around.
As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face. The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?"
She laughs and gets in his bed. When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again. Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy Bitch."